If "Ifs" and "Buts" Were Candy And Nuts...

October 7, 2002

Just got back from watching the Browns-Ravens game. so this is really going up at about 20 after 12. In a word: Pathetic.

The Browns spent the entire first half getting pushed around -- it seemed like every time I turned around that jackass Ray Lewis was doing his stupid little "I'm the felon" dance. The Browns just couldn't do anything right. Tim Couch was throwing his standard three-yard screen pass, and they were getting picked apart.

Finally, early in the fourth quarter, they scored to make it 23-6. They tried for two and made it; 23-8. Then Ray Lewis jammed his shoulder and Tim Couch got a concussion. Kelly Holcomb came in and marched the team down the field 98 yards to make it 23-15. The Ravens got the ball back and kicked a field goal to take a 26-15 lead.

Then the Browns came down the field again and scored, missing a two-point conversion. 26-21 Baltimore, just under a minute left. Holcomb had a couple iffy throws, but looked to be in charge.

But he was gimping. I don't know for sure yet, but it looks like he pulled a hamstring. Couch was no good, so he trooped it out and stayed in. The Browns got down to about the 30 with 14 seconds left, and Holcomb aired it out. The ball sailed on him, though, and it left the back of the end zone. Ten seconds left, enough time for two plays.

Holcomb goes long again, since a first down would be useless. The ball sails again, and is tipped and picked. The Ravens run it back (not for a touchdown) and the game ends. 26-21 Ravens.

So, what do I have to say about all this?

· The Browns need to bench two of their number-one picks. Couch is hurt, but Holcomb's more effective anyway. They need a deep threat, and Tim isn't it. They also need to bench Green. All he does is dance around in the backfield and lose yardage. I can't help but think of what might've happened if they'd brought in Jamel White sooner. He may not be the Next Big Thing, but he knows how to put his head down and run forward, something Green just doesn't get.

· The offensive coordinator needs to put down the crack pipe. Yes, Couch isn't as accurate at long distance as Holcomb. That's no reason to run nothing outside of five yards. Even if you miss it spreads out the defense.

· Get an offensive line. Please. For the first 45 minutes of play, Couch barely got a two-count before the defenders were on him. That's no way to win a game.

· Quit playing around Ray Lewis. Yes, he's good. Very good. But any time your game plan is centered around one man it's doomed to fail. Because Ray isn't the only guy on the other side of the ball, and his teammates will make you pay for avoiding him.

And now, some quotes:

"Can I get you guys anything?"
"Yeah, a running back."

"Mark my words: Green's gonna wind up being Butch Davis's Kordell." (A player who is given more chances than he deserves, and really ought to be released)

"If they don't do something soon, I'm gonna have to start doing shots."

"My heart can't take any more fucking games like this."

"RUN, GODDAMNIT!" (directed at Green)

October 5, 2002October 8, 2002