January 10, 2003
"Broke into the Old Apartment..."
Fun. Got to break into my own place this morning.
As usual I walked out onto the porch to get my paper. I didn't take my keys with me because the building's main door has a tendency to not shut unless you apply a little extra force to it. (As an aside, people in the building who actually make sure it shuts and latches behind them are definitely in the minority.) Anyway, I pick up the paper and *ca-click* "Uh-oh."
It actually latched itself. For the first time in months. When I didn't have my keys on me. No problem, I decide, it's 8:40 and the landlord's office just might be open. just a short walk up Baum Blvd. in my sweat pants, sweatshirt and barefoot. Get to the door, nothing. They must not open till nine. Shit.
Walk back the 100 yards to the house, and my feet are starting to get pretty cold. I start thinking of other ways into the building. The basement door's no good, because I know I keep it locked. The basement windows are all barred since they're at ground level. My front window can't be opened. But the side window just might work. I don't think I ever locked it... but it's more than five feet off the ground...
Salvation! Somebody has a couple barstool-like chairs sitting on the porch gathering dust. Haul one over to the window, pop off the screen that the genius before me had installed by stapling it to the windowframe, push the window up and crawl in. Nothing to it.
Then went downstairs walking on as little of my feet as possible and scrub like hell to remove a quarter inch of Pittsburgh from the soles. Then came back upstairs and locked the damn window.