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June 26, 2003

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Annoyances

Don't get me wrong, I like my job. I'm just ready to kill a couple of my coworkers. You see, they eat lunch at their desks.

That's something I never really understood. In addition to the fact that you may muck up your keyboard with either crumbs or a misplaced spill, I never could figure out why people would take their one hour and spend it where they're already spending half their waking hours. I mean, don't their chairs get uncomfortable after a while? Aren't they tired of staring at their computers?

But the fact that they do it doesn't really bother me; maybe they're just wierd. The problem is I know they're doing it.

The guy two cubes over brings in lefotvers and microwave meals. Which means he basically stinks up the whole area. His lunch doesn't smell bad; in fact that's the problem. He gets in early, so he eats early, like at 11:30 or so. Meaning that just as I'm starting to think about lunch, I get the small of whatever he's eating wafting over. It's annoying to say the least, because if I ate as early as he did, I know the afternoon would drag. So I sit around smelling his food for half an hour.

Then there's the guy in the cube next to me. He doesn't like noise. Any noise. And he usually gets his wish -- this office is too quiet for me to be able to concentrate most of the time. But he brings chips in with his lunch. And he eats at his desk.

And since this place is usually crypt-like in its quietness, I hear every bite, every munch, every chew. Don't get me wrong; he's chewing with his mouth shut. But I can still hear it clearly, and it annoys me. (And now he's slupring his fucking soda. Wonderful.)

For some reason the sound of chewing grates on me. Don't know why. Lip-smacking and other stuff like that drive me half-nuts. But even just the munchmunchmunch of my neighbor's chips is an irritant. And he comes in early too, so he starts up right after Stinky Dude. So every day at around 11:30, I get to deal with this for half an hour:

*sniffsniff* "Hm, that smells pretty good. Wonder what it is..."
*rummmmmble* "Not yet, dammit, it's only 25 after."
*crinklecrinkle*
"Ah, Christ..."
*CRUNCHmunchmunchmunchmunchmunch*
*CRUNCHmunchmunchmunchmunchmunch*
*CRUNCHmunchmunchmunchmunchmunch*
*sluuuuurrrrrp*
*rummmmmble* "Erg. Still only 20 till."
*CRUNCHmunchmunchmunchmunchmunch*
*CRUNCHmunchmunchmunchmunchmunch*
*CRUNCHmunchmunchmunchmunchmunch*
[Repeat for at least 30 minutes.]

I know, I know. I pick awfully wierd things to get neurotic about. But we have a lunch room. A room where you're supposed to go to eat lunch. So you don't have to sit at your desk and make everyone else hungry. Or make them listen to you eat and slurp your drink. But these two (and nobody in this whole building, as far as I can tell) uses the thing.

Well, it's 12:00 now. I'm getting the hell out of here.

Update, half an hour later: Never let it be said that I'm not petty. I stopped by CVS on my way back from lunch and grabbed a large bag of Reese's Pieces.

This page's URL is http://jasonfleshman.org

This page last updated Jul 19, 2019 3:34:19 PM.