Not How I Planned

December 3, 2008

The dog is a nervous traveler, after about half an hour or so. She gets shaky and starts panting, which I assume is a doggy panic attack. Since I'd rather avoid dumping her on my friends (albeit her old owners) for Thanksgiving and Christmas, I did what dog owners have been doing since the beginning of time. Or at least since the invention of Benadryl: I drugged up the dog.

Except the first time I got liquid Children's Benadryl. Bubble-gum flavored, if the smell was any indicator. Now, this animal eats sticks, mulch, poop, leaves, dry doog food, granola bars, cracker jack, yogurt, dead birds and just about anything else on the planet. Know what she doesn't like? Bubble gum. After putting her in a headlock and dumping a dose in her mouth, she spit it out on the entryway floor (thankfully, tile).

Like Mom said when I first got her: Congratulations, you have a two-year-old.

So the trip up to Ohio didn't go too well, although she made it to Breezewood before freaking out. She even almost took a nap for part of Maryland.

For the trip back, Mom grabbed a sample of quick-dissolve Benadryl tablets from the doctor's office she works at. Know what else the dog doesn't like? Cherry-flavored quick-dissolve tablets. Cherry yogurt is A-OK though. Damn dog. Anyway, pop the pill in her mouth, hold it shut for a few seconds so the pill will dissolve, wait an hour for it to set in, and off we go.

We got to the corner before the dog puked. I brush the nastiness onto the floor with a napkin (she got her doggy bed) and continue on my way. Except now she's trying to crawl up the back of the seat to get away from the bed, so I yanked it out from under her -- not quite as easy as a tablecloth covered in dishes -- and tossed it in the back seat.

We got to Route 44 before the dog puked again. Twice in half an hour. I'm not that bad when I'm drunk.

Of course, that got her freaking out again, and we spent an extra two hours sitting in traffic in Pennsylvania. So, from 10:00 to 6:00 the dog was all twitchy. Joy.

Thankfully, the floor mats are all plastic or rubber, so all I have to do is hose it down. Of course, the car wash area is closed for the winter so I have to haul the thing up to my apartment and dump it in the shower to clean it.

My sister, who works at a veterinarian's office, is trying to get me some sedatives for Christmas. I might even let the dog have some.

November 24, 2008December 8, 2008