The Fleshman FAQ
Well, if this were a real F.A.Q. these would actually give you important information. Nothing here is really important, except for that first item. I really hate it when people pronounce my name wrong.
"How's your last name pronounced?"
The same way it's spelled — [flesh - muhn]. (Okay, I can't draw a "schwah," you get the idea.) It is not [flaysh - muhn] — I am not a character from "Northern Exposure." Many, many years ago, my family's last name was spelled "Fleischmann" and was pronounced [flaysh - muhn]. Not any more. Not since World War I. Please say my name correctly.
"So, Jason, why don't you ever go back to Akron?"
Because Akron is so damn depressing. It looks like Homestead, PA, but with fewer nice buildings. Industry left 20 years ago and they haven't found anything to take its place yet. In fact, I don't even think they looked. Want proof? Get on I-76, I-77, or OH-8 and head into town. Then ask me why I don't go home.
"How come so many people call you Fleshman?"
Because I know a lot of people here through my fraternity, Sigma Tau Gamma. There was already a Jason in Sig Tau when I pledged in Fall of 1994 so I was called by my last name to avoid confusion. It stuck. I don't mind at all. I've gotten used to not having a first name, but it is kinda nice when someone uses it. You can call me "Fleshman," "Jason" or "Jay." I fucking hate "Jayce."
"You were in ROTC? Why did you leave?"
I'll give you a hint: Square Root Club.
"Uhm, what's the Square Root Club?"
I guess that phrase is too much of a CMU thing. You're a member of the Square Root Club when the square root of your GPA is greater than your GPA. I'll leave the math to you.
"You still looking for work?"
Er, no. Not really. See, I just made all this stuff up anyway. But if you want more information, here ya go:
- Name: Jason Christopher Fleshman.
- Age: 43, as of 23 Oct 2019, 6:57 AM.
- Originally From: Akron, Ohio (about 35 miles south of Cleveland).
- High School: (Akron) East High School, about three blocks from my house. Graduated with a class of about 160. Total population of the school: about 1,000.
- College: Spent four and a half years at Carnegie Mellon University, starting in Physics and eventually earning a Bachelor of Science degree in History and Policy.
- Currently Living In: Centreville, Virginia.
- Working At: Lock Media Services, in Manassas.
- Fraternity: I'm an alumnus of Sigma Tau Gamma's Delta Xi Chapter. I pledged in the fall of 1994, shortly after getting to CMU.