This site will look better in a browser that supports Web standards, but it is accessible to any browser or Internet device.

Clerks? (14 Jun 2002)

<spinn> I thought you work at 8
<Mia_D> that is what I've been doing.
<Mia_D> Yes I do
<Mia_D> it's only fivwe
<Mia_D> five even
<spinn> oh right
<Machival> pacific.
<spinn> frey's the one in fl
<Drusilla> yes.
<Mia_D> well I could NOT go to work. That would be fun
<Mia_D> but then I'd miss my daily dose of "OH MY GOD BLACK KNIGHT IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER YOU HAVE TO SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!"
<Machival> what's your job? as the receptionist in the waiting room for hell?
<Mia_D> No, I'm a clerk at a video store
<Machival> ahh.
<Mia_D> with a huge porn selection
<Mia_D> Huge. Porn. Selection.
<Drusilla> yay! porn!
<Mia_D> See, at first I thought I would love being around all that porn
<Mia_D> But now stacking copies of "Trial by Copulation" just doesn't have the same entertainment value
<zompist> did you make it your staff selection?
<Mia_D> Actually, they USED to have a staff selection area, but they took it out
<Machival> 'cause it was basically the whole porn rack moved over to the 'staff selection' section.
<Mia_D> My staff selection, in the video store of my MIND (OMG I R SO DEEP) is "Doin' the Butthole boogie" and "REctal Rooter"
<Machival> so now they just have a "PORN (staff selection)" section.
<Mia_D> Actually, the porn room renting people are really nice
<Mia_D> it's the people renting the mature audience skinemax titles who are complete jerks
<Machival> heh... renting softcore porn with attitude.
<Mia_D> and why the HELL DO WE HAVE FIFTY COPIES OF BLACK KNIGHT? JESUS I HATE MARTIN LAWRENCE GOD FUCK ASS TIT MONGER DEATH
<Machival> because people have no taste in movies anymore.
<DMLaenker> Oh my God, it was THAT movie!
<Machival> they'll eat whatever shit is spoon-fed into their retarded, drooling mouths.
<Mia_D> Also I'm sick of renting the movie "How High" to people
<Mia_D> I dont'
<Machival> eeew... how high... blecch.
<Mia_D> I don't CARE if it was done by Dylan's son, it still sucks ass and STOP HANDING ME THIS FILTH YOU LOSERS
<Drusilla> replace those with a different movie.
<DMLaenker> What makes hip-hop musicians presume that they can act?
<Machival> drugs.
<hockeyfag> yes men
<Mia_D> see, what I can do is move movies around that are actually good to the areas where we're supposed to put money making movies, which are the movies with the green stickers
<Machival> "Dood, you was fuckin' awesome! dawg! shit, yo!"
<Mia_D> But if they're a one day rental, they go below the green stickers on the second through fifth row and above the non stickered items, unless they're mature audience titles
<Mia_D> if they have the white bar on them, they go next to the mature audience titles, and if they're kid looking movies, they go on the fourth row
<Mia_D> UNLESS THEY'RE GREEN STICKERD dear jesus I hate doing that
<Machival> do you have to factor in the lunar cycle as well?
<Mia_D> only with the dvd's, which have completely DIFFERENT rules
<Drusilla> kill them all.
<Mia_D> with dvd's the red stickers go on the bottom, unless they're one day rentals, then they go below the non stickered movies, unless the stickered movies are one day movies
<Machival> we need a robot army to go around killing people at my command.
<Mia_D> new arrivals go on the top shelf, along with some one days and mature audience titles
<Mia_D> but this is ENTIRELY DIFFERENT FROM THE PORN ROOM ORGANIZING PGGHGLGH
* Drusilla pats mia
<Mia_D> the only solace I have is the fact that I am making some sort of money
<hockeyfag> you making porn and renting it?
<Mia_D> and the fact that it is actuallybetter than target with the safty robot and the special walking path and the carts and the team huddles
<Machival> "team huddles"?
<Mia_D> that's what they called meetings at Target
<Drusilla> yes
<Mia_D> because we're all a TEAM!
<Mia_D> and our uniforms are our TEAM COLORS!!!!!
<DMLaenker> Mia: Muaha.
<DMLaenker> I thought that was just Kmart. Painful!
<Mia_D> and we didn't have customers, we had GUESTS!!!! and if you called them customers, you got reprimanded.
<Mia_D> I can call them customers at Super Duper video...I can call them customers
<Mia_D> and they're called uniforms

This page's URL is http://jasonfleshman.org

This page last updated Mar 19, 2011 7:13:44 PM.