New Year's Resolution I'll Break by the Third

December 30, 2003

I usually try to avoid doing this, because I'm almost as good at keeping resolutions as Oprah Winfrey is at sticking to a diet. And I think I already made this particular resolution a while ago and failed to keep it, but here goes: I'm going to try to stop cursing.

It's not a problem, really, since the people I work with are at least 55 and couldn't care less about language and my friends just expect it by now. But I know that if I had to listen to someone talk like I do I'd find it annoying. Therefore I'm going to try to scale it back a bit.

As a side note: This is why I don't mess with people who smoke. I have a habit that provides no chemicals to my body, doesn't create an endorphin reaction or anything like that, and I still can't get rid of it. Imagine if there was actually some kind of addictive effect to this. What kind of shape would I be in if I was a smoker, or an alcoholic, or a compulsive gambler?

Hmm, I almost talked myself into believing it's a harmless vice and that I should just let it go.

Anyway, here's the plan. I'm going to start small. For January I'm going to limit myself to 20* a day, regardless of severity. The "dammit" when I drop my keys counts for the same 1 point as the "FUCK!" when I stub my toe real bad. Combinations will be capped at 5, on the theory that at that point I'm not really being coherent anyway and would just as likely be spouting gibberish. I'll then start cutting back my daily allowance until either (a) I get down to about 3 a day (b) I get tired of it and give up. Given how these things usually work out I'm betting on b, but I'm kinda hoping for a.

And yes, that's my only resolution. Making more than a few just sets you up for failure since you can't keep up that many changes to yourself at once. With only one thing to concentrate on I think I'm more likely to be successful.

* 20 is a completely random number, I have no idea how frequently I swear in the course of a day. Limiting myself to 20 a day may be the equivalent of limiting myself to "only" 4 meals a day. In which case January will be easy.

December 29, 2003January 1, 2004